America Russia News

December 14, 2002 America News, White House Orders Extra Copies of Iraq Report - Extra copies being used as Toilet Paper in the White House

The 12,000 page report was taken by the United States and numerous copies made. A spokesperson said the copies would be distributed to all relevant agencies of the United States Government.

However on the evening of December 13 th a Dinner party was held at the White House. The Dinner Party was attended by several ambassadors from non-permanent members of the UN Security Council.

However several ambassadors noticed that copies had been made on tissue paper. These copies were available in the White House Bathrooms as toilet paper.

The ambassadors from Norway succeeded is stealing one of the toilet paper dispenser so his country would have a copy.

Stolen Toilet Paper Dispenser with Iraq Report

Mr. Luzhkov today announced that he wanted to reverse the flow of the OB river.

The proposal is based on a Soviet-era project to channel north-flowing Ob River down a 2,550-kilometer canal to the southern Aral Sea. Officially  the Soviet Government scrapped the idea over environmental concerns in 1986.
 

If God was not willing to help, he knew some good construction companies that might be interested. The estimated cost is 30 billion USD.

The Plan and yes the Mayor is pushing the plan.

Mysterious billboards were put up last week.

Loosely translated the bill boards say, "Bring the dam money back or we will send trained assassins after you."

The Government said they had nothing to do with the bill boards.

Russia's Guy from Hell

"Why not, but why waste money? Luzhkov is good at illegally persecuting minorities so why not go further? Just round up a couple million people and have them dig the canal"

"Well it certainly would help the unemployment problem would it not? You could have millions of people with shovels digging. Look at the economic benefits.

When I was President we were building lots of big projects, primarily nuclear power stations. That was a good thing, right?"

Ask Olga, our answer to Dear Abby;

Olga, I am not talking about that kind of girl. I want to meet somebody I could marry.

Sincerely, Now confused Fred.

No problem Fred, how much do you earn, do you have your own house, how much money in the bank. I might be available and can may be ditch my husband as early as next week.

Sincerely Olga

PS: That picture in last week's column was not me!

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December 16, 2002 Iraq will declare war on Russian Oil Company, unless stops talking to Americans. Says Americans are bores, obnoxious, and loud so not good to talk to them.

December 17, 2002 Bush checking with former geography teacher to find out where Iraq is.