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February 12, 2002
Russia News, Who came First Dobby or Putin? Putin Sues
Producers of Harry Potter Movie
Who came first? Who will sue who? Who is uglier?
What does the stern-faced commander
in chief of a million-man army have in common with a
self-effacing elf from a popular children's film? |
Any similarities between the character and a former KGB
agent? President Putin; an elf from "Harry Potter and
the Chamber of Secrets" ?
Moviegoers have been struck by a certain resemblance.
Rumors are flying it was deliberately done to
embarrass President Putin.
FSB(old KGB) has launched an investigation.
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February 10, 2003, New
York City, New York; No need for UN Resolution; Saddam
Hussein agrees to sells Iraq to consortium of Oil
Companies.
 ARN
first reported on this story several months ago. After
evidence that Hussein had weapons of mass destruction
negotiations started again.
Today it was announced today that BP, ChevronTexaco
and other had agreed to buy Iraq. They will pay Saddam
Hussein 10 billion dollars. |
President Bush has announced that the United States
Government supports the deal. All citizens will be
employed by the consortium.
Switzerland has offered Saddam Hussein political
asylum if he deposits at least 5 billion dollars in a
Swiss Bank.
France is protesting the deal as TotalElfFina was not
included in the deal.
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February 12, 2003
Baghdad, Iraq No war But Inspectors find the Smoking Gun
 The
Smoking Gun Pretzel
UN inspectors found the smoking gun that President
Bush was looking for.
A pretzel factory was raided. Pretzels matching the
description of the one President Bush choked on were
found. |
Chemical analysis confirms that the pretzel the
President choked on came from he factory. It was
hidden from the public but President's Pretzel had a
special coating. The coating was designed to make the
pretzel stick and choke the President.
The investigation is continuing.
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February 5, 2003
Sharon Wins What does it mean? Arafat comments |
Arafat says:
Well things went as planned.
I am still in power and should remain.
This can drag on for a few more years.
Oh boy another year or two in my compound without any
MacDonald's hamburgers |
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Editorial comment,
Your thoughts on Iraq this week?
 Russia's
Guy from Hell
"Bush is a pussy for waiting for another UN
Resolution. Russia, they should be in there with the
USA, bombing and fighting, then grabbing territory for
themselves. " |
America's
Guy from Hell"Well we have set a place
for Saddam. If George nails him, well he will be a big
celebrity down here. We have not had anybody of his
stature since Adolph Hitler and Jozsef!" |
 Ask
Olga;Well more on the subject of finding a
bribe over the internet.
Okay, so I messed up on the link last week. That was
not me in the picture.
That picture was suppose to be part of this week's
column. |
If you are looking for A Russian Bribe always and I mean
always track down her Mother.
You do not want a Wife who could turn into a
Babuska(grandmother) at 40. The women in the picture are
between the ages of 35 and 45.
Take a look at them again,
your Russian wife at 35 may be?
Regards, Olga |
Ask The General
Director
Still not one question from ARN readers.
So I guess I will just have to think of something to
say.
I do need to make one thing clear. |
I
have been thinking about it for a long time. May be too
long so it is may be time to get it off my chest. You
know how some things can drag on and on. You just come
out and clear things up and not beat around the bush.
That happens here all the time. Management just talks
and talks and says nothing. So I really need to say this
but may be next time.
So send your questions into the General Director. |
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