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Reasons to drink more beer in Russia
1) Cheaper than Coca Cola
2) Not alcohol (by law) so you can give to babies
3) No license needed to sell it. You can find it everywhere
4) Less chance it is black market and you die from drinking it
5) No low cal vodka available
6) Cheaper than bottled water |
Tikrit,
Iraq October 19, 2002 Major upset in Elections,
one vote for another candidate
One
write in vote was submitted for one candidate other than
Saddam Hussein. The write in candidate was George Bush
Senior.
 Police
composite sketch of suspected voter
This is the first time since Mr. Hussein has been
president that he has not been unanimous elected. The
person that submitted the write in vote said as he ran
from the voting booth, "Score one for America." |
A
country wide search is in progress to find the person
who submitted the write in ballot. The ballot has been
checked for finger prints but none were found.
A CIA plot may be the source of the write in
ballot. The CIA says they have infiltrated Iraq in
preparation for an invasion. No CIA source would confirm
or deny they were behind the incident.
The ballot was submitted in Tikrit. This is where Mr.
Hussein was born. So the location would be the ideal
location for a CIA operation. |
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Baghdad,
Iraq October 21, 2002 In a press release
today the Iraqi government released details of their
latest secret weapon. The statement said, "We have no
need for biological or nuclear weapons. During the holy
war against Iran a few or our glorious citizens were
exposed to chemical agents.
 Army
of Iraqi Spider people in Training, dressed like
American Spiderman to go undercover
These chemicals were
based on poisons carried by a spider native to our
county. Of course the exposure was completely
accidental. These "accidents" resulted in offspring of
the exposed individuals having characteristics like the
desert spider.
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We have now assembled an army of spider men and women to
defend our country against any infidels. This army is
ready to climb and crawl against any enemy of our
country.
We will also deploy them overseas against our enemies
if necessary to protect our selves. They can infiltrate
America dressed as American Spidermen.
UN or White House had no comment, saying more
information was necessary. An unconfirmed source said
that President Bush had arranged for an emergency
viewing of the movie "Spiderman" |
|
Washington, DC October
18, 2002 The CIA today announced that they have
found evidence of potential Al Qaed terrorist cells in
every country We had been looking at all
the information and determined that we had not issued a
warning for Togo, Luxemburg, and the Vatican. However we
dug further into our evidence and came up with the
following evidence.
In Luxemburg there is evidence that someone of the
Moslem religion has bank accounts in that country. That
was enough evidence for us to issue an alert. |
The Vatican has received numerous visitor that are of
the Muslim faith. This includes some high ranking
government officials from countries where the
predominate religion is Muslim. Togo was a more
difficult task. Few of our analyst even knew that Togo
was in Africa. However from published literature we
determined that the most common religion is Muslim.
We would also like to add that all counties need to
take our warning seriously. |
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October 13, 2002 Bribe
Inflation , rocks Russia Economy. Stops Investment Plans
of New Jersey Mafia
 A
representative said "We had planned to back several
organizations financially. However the cost of doing
business in Russia has gotten too high.
|
So we are going to step back and
wait a year and see if President Putin can get bribe
inflation under control. We are used to bribing just a
few high key people not everyone.
more |
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We hope to give a different look at the news. A little humor
and satire, somehow related to America, Russia, George Bush,
Cheney, and Mr. Putin.
The official site of Mr.
Putin, no this is the satire,
unofficial site Mr.
Putin, the official Mr.
Bush Site, and not so official
satire site Mr.
Bush site. We may be got
confused?
All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any
way be construed as fact. Hey, we admit it, we just make up
stuff. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright
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