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This site is about satire, America news satire, Russia news
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November 3, 2002 Tucson
Arizona, America, National Rifle Association (NRA)
Rally.
 Charlton
Hesston did not bow to public pressure.
Mr. Heston "All
professors should carry guns"
Four people were shot on the University of Arizona
Campus but the NRA still went ahead with their rally.
Mr. Heston stated that "Guns do not kill, people kill.
You can kill someone with a potato."
NRA Potato killer |
Mr. Heston other comments were:"
If these professors had been packing pistols they would
be alive today. There would have only been one death,
the college student who shot the professors, and may be
one or two innocent bystanders." When Mr.
Heston was asked about the recent sniper murders in the
Washington DC area he stated, "Look, you can kill people
with a potato. The NRA has spent a million dollars to
prove it."
The NRA unveiled the Potato weapon to prove their
point. The weapon can shoot a potato 300 yards and kill
someone.
When asked if it was not actually a gun a comment was
made "Guns shoot bullets not
potatoes." |
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November 4, 2002 Moscow, Russia
Visa Chaos as New Visa System Kicks In The
new law has caused Chaos. New visa applications forms
have been issued. The Interior Ministry is now focusing
on foreigners that contribute to the Russia Economy.
The contribution can be professionally or in terms of
financial support for Russian Citizens and businesses.
These
guys from America, no problem to get a Russia visa
New Questions on the visa application forms are:
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Do you have both a wife at home and in Russia? How many
Russian girlfriends do you have? How many times do
you go to night clubs per month? How many times per
month do you go to a casino?
What is the estimated value of black market CD,
software, and DVD's do you buy per month for export?
The Interior Ministry said, "The new forms let us
determine who we should issue invitations and work
permits to.
If People are taking money out of Russia we do not
want them. We want them to spend it in Russia." |
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Scariest Person
from America
Bernard Ebbers
Turned Billions into
thin air
First business related
to cars, motel
Not arrested yet, but
soon |
Scariest Person
from Russia
Boris Berezovsky
Turned thin air into
Billions
First business,
stealing cars
Warrant issued for
arrest |
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November 4, 2002 Moscow,
Russia AutoVAZ considers laying off workers, alternative
proposed. AutoVAZ car sales
have plunged. Dealers have no more room for cars.
AutoVAZ has considered laying off workers but the
Government says keep the assembly lines operating at
full capacity.
The Ministry of Industrial Production has proposed
that Car Dealer lot capacity be increased. |
The Government agreed and all
dealers will get the new parking system free of charge.
It will allow three cars to be parked in the space of
one. This will allow AutoVAZ to keep over producing.
AutoVAZ
Dealer Parking System
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Russia News Briefs
11/6/2002 Togo declares war on
Russia, Berezovsky to fund, Ebbers, Togo offers asylum
11/7/2002 Berezovsky to
fund kidnapping, will pay ransom for anyone who is not
Russian |
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